On to better things...

Many of you know that this last year and a half has been pretty hard on me. My father died at the end of 2007 which was extremely difficult.  My wife of 10 years left me six months later. My divorce was finalized back in October, and Dad's ashes were buried on a ski slope in Colorado over the holiday's.  We all suffered economic pressure with high gas prices, huge job losses, and more grey hairs from the lead up to the elections.  

I hope you all survived. I think I came out relatively well. I have made some wonderful new friends that I look forward to learning more about. I have connected with some older friends that were there for me when I needed them most. I got to meet my niece and see my family twice in one year. I started swimming and skiing again. I'm in pretty good shape health wise, and all in all ...

Life is Good.
As this new year begins, and we all recover from our late night to ring in the new year, I thought about what I hope to do this year. The usual ideas come to mind... More time climbing, less time working. More time skiing, less time working. More time with friends and family, less time working.

Maybe I am not being clear?  We now have a culture of work-aholics and a cash cow culture driving these systems of nothingness.  I understand being part of it.  I know I like having a house, car, money to buy new climbing and ski gear... but having all that stuff doesn't help if I don't have the time and never get out and enjoy any of it.  There is a beautiful world out there and I know without doubt or reservation that living in it is a wonderful experience.  And, for many, one that is never tiring.

I hope all of you climbing and ski bums know how lucky you are... And those of you not in the know... A loss of a days wage is nothing compared to never having the experience.  If you are someone who is sitting at your desk and wondering how you are going to make ends meet and do your favorite activity I suggest the following (we've all heard this advice before):

1) Eat healthy; if you are going to spend money on something why not on good tasty food?

2) Be OK with stopping.  When you have a week of running around and not resting (this includes trying to fit in your fun time) take one day to not run around.  Be okay with your mess.  You might even find your priorities will shift in what you think you need.

3)  and finally an unpaid day outside is always better than a paid day at a desk.  You can live without all that kipple piling up in your house... in fact you'll probably be happier without more in general.

On that note, I want to talk about kipple.  Kipple was first introduced by Philip K. Dick in his story Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? Kipple is a lot like SPAM. It has a way of building up and left unattended can overwhelm you.

As I clean out my home from 10 years of kipple that built up over my marriage (Thanks to Aunt Judy at Dynamic Order for all the hard work) I feel such relief to have it being purged from my life. I can find things all of the sudden. Putting things away has become easy. And that drawer that is overflowing with kipple... gone. I'm trying to move onto better things... getting rid of dead weight... Seriously, a good start!

Cheers to all! May your 2009 be filled with many highs, few lows, lots of smiles and laughter, and great adventures.

Passion, the new drug of choice

I don't think I have ever enjoyed this time of year. Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday for certain, but generally I cannot stand the selling of the season. Usually, I would be getting all my climbing gear organized and ready for a trip south to Joshua Tree, or Red Rocks Canyon. This year my family decided it was important to be together. So I'm off to Denver. My sister has made plans for us to ski, and I think I even have plans to get in a little climbing. I'm excited to be with family, see my niece and nephews again, and play in the winter activities that Colorado has to offer.

I'm excited to get back on skis after 14 years. It is something that I enjoyed with my father, but I always hated the ski lift lines, and the cost -- oh my the cost it too high. But this is a sport I was good at doing, and I have fond memories of my dad when I think about skiing. The thing about skiing though -- It was never my passion. It was my fathers, but definitely not mine. You cannot not argue the rush that you get from skiing though -- can you?

Recently, I started to notice something -- everyone is talking about "Living with Passion." Maybe it is because I tweet and you get "followers" who are defining themselves by their jobs -- they have passion for their work. Possibly it is because a friend of mine started a business modeled around the motto "Live Your Passion." Quick Tangent -- Please support Live Your Passion as they really are doing something great to help people live out their dreams. Okay back to the blog. Or maybe the past eight years under such terrible leadership has driven people to realize there has to be something better... anything is better.

Don't get me wrong. I think Passion is wonderful. I feel fortunate that I am a passionate person. Yet, I'm passionate in that traditional way of being fiery and "feeling very strongly about a subject or person" way -- a strong emotion that drives my actions. Now though, the word passion reminds me more of a drug. People cannot wait to get their next hit. It is about the contact high and not the strong emotional feelings -- good or bad. The word "Passion" has become cliche, it is the new religion. Maybe that is my aversion -- has it become a religion?

We all know that many people who play in sports, do extreme activities, even some religious groups, as well as drug users do so for the "now" experience. I have said it many times -- I rock climb because all the other thoughts, worries, problems, etc can all quiet down and I have a very intense rush -- I get to live in the moment and experience all my feelings raw. I would say I'm addicted to climbing. That doesn't happen for me often. I have found even when I swim, ski, or bike ride I have time to think about something other then the immediate moment. Worries of life can still invade me and cause stress. Rock climbing, and now soccer allow me the escape.

So what is my point? Well, the deconstruction of true passion seems to be lost on people right now. People who are running instead of living, who replace meaningful experiences for a momentary rush and call it passion disturb me. I believe I have a passion for climbing... but I realize it is just one facet of my passion for life. I want people around me who are passionate about their life and experiences and recognize that true passion, real passion is fleeting. It isn't in every moment and it doesn't rule your life. Passion, when it is real, is something that provides drive in the moment. Don't let it be something that you need to fulfill your life, to give yourself meaning and happiness... that simply means you are not truly passionate, but rather just addicted.

On Hiatus

It has been a while since I have had much to say. November was a pretty lame month. It started with a cold, a trip to D.C. during a very exciting time, and a trip back from D.C. that set the cold in for the rest of the month. I got out to hike Crystal Mt. and had coughed a bruise into my rib. The docs advice -- stop coughing.

So the climbing season is really too far away. Either by car or by weather. So I decided it was time to return to skiing (yep, that is consistent with my last entry.) And because I hate ski lifts and lines, I decided to dedicate myself to the backcountry and freeriding. I pulled out the old gear and the boots -- well even wrapped in plastic the mice got into them and nested. Boots are on the list to buy. Pulled out two pairs of skis -- the 205s look good, but my knees cannot handle these straight boards. The smaller pair -- the bindings are turning brown. Okay, well at least my poles are still usable.

So I put in a purchase with Backcountry.com for a pair of skis, randonee bindings, and skins. I was going to get boots too, but I figured I would make sure I get comfortable boots. Since they really are the most important part of comfortable skiing. I will check out the local 2nd Ascent.

Now my fingers are crossed. I tweeted a twit friend that I felt Karma owed me a debt. Funny thing about Karma... you think you deserve one thing and you get something you totally didn't know you needed (good and bad.) Fingers are crossed.

Think snow, rumor has it Friday -- Think Snow!

Gravitational Pull

I have missed the gravitational pull of rock climbing. Even the gym doesn't seem to get me excited.

Skiing. That is what has been on my mind. I have mentioned that it has been since I was 21 since I last skied. The Holidays are coming quickly and I will be heading East to Denver. I'm excited. I get to see Darcy again and her older brothers Justin and Nicholas. We are planning to do at least one day of skiing. I have never skied anywhere in Colorado, so I'm pretty stoked. I hope I can remember how to ski. I might even have to try snowboarding. I remember the days when snowboarders where banned from the slope. My dad and I would have long conversations about why that was so stupid. My dad didn't like the boarders in the moguls because he felt they created too much of a grove... I never noticed the difference. He still felt they should be allowed on the mountain though.

I'm sitting watching Steep. I'm moved to get out on the rock and hiking in the snow. Now I just need to find the extra dollars to purchase gear that isn't from 1991. I'm going to be an antique out there... but I'm sure it will be fun.

"I love the gravitational pull." That sums up how I feel about life.

Yes, we can...

Yes, we can. Yes, we can. Yes, we can.

While we breathe we hope... Yes, we can.

Well put Samantha

I'll let the humor speak for itself.

WTF?

I just liked this ...



And now for the crazies:

Recharged

The end of climbing season is approaching quickly. Snow in the North Cascades has already started to fall and soon the passes will be filled with cars topped with skis and boards on their way to a winter bliss. I have not skied in nearly fifteen years. It makes me a bit ashamed really. My father's true love and I ditched it because I got hurt. I dislocated my patella. I didn't even get hurt skiing, but the passion fell to other activities and priorities. I should not really call skiing my passion. It simply wasn't. I had many friends that I could ski with but the only person I enjoyed skiing with was myself, and my dad. I think he was sad that I stopped skiing. I sometimes regret that the last time we skied together I was 21 years old.

Well, I'm determined to ski again, or maybe board. I will get on the slopes at least once this year. You are probably wondering why only once? Dad is sitting on my home office desk, and I think it is time for him to move out of the house. I'll have to figure out how to get my sister out here so we can do this right. My Dad, though he wasn't all present in his head, was all present in his heart. Seem like we should give him a happy place to hang out.

In the meantime I'm recharging. I was suppose to be out climbing this weekend but the weather proved to be less than agreeable. Next weekend I have a family gathering and so I won't likely get out to climb and I am doubting the weather will be good enough for a day trip. The GUGOO's are going to enjoy the Leavenworth Oktoberfest on the 18th so I have plans to go climbing and hopefully meet up for the festivities. Until then recharge.

When I recharge, I like to listen (and re-listen) to one of my favorite pod casts of all time -- The Dirtbag Diaries. Fitz Cahall, the pod author, is a few years younger than myself, but like my cousin Kevin he's in touch with that "something" in the world that fills you up and leaves you whole inside. For someone you've never met that might sound ridiculous to say. I know this though, anyone who thinks/speaks "There's at least a half dozen ways to screw this up -- It sounds perfect," has figured out something that the rest of us are still seeking. Facing the challenges head on is what life is all about. Not only that, finding challenges and overcoming them -- Fitz would say "Trip not possible -- Game On!"

So, Game On! Here's to facing the challenges you are presented, and finding those that will make you a better person.

Sun Kissed and Climber Happy

Yesterday would have been my ten year anniversary. Originally, the plan was to go to Las Vegas, get a hotel near the Red Rocks Canyon and have "comfortable climbing." I was thinking how awesome that was going to be climbing and being able to get clean afterwards. Nice meals, clean clothes. Yuppie climbing at its best.

Those plan were discussed last year when we were in Red Rocks. Unfortunately for me, life changed in such a way that this never happened. Instead, I met up with some people I had never met before. In fact, people I had barely even talked with before. There are some great places to meetup with other like minded people and gather and have good experiences. I met Beylan and Julie on the Seattle Climbing Meetup really by accident. I wanted to get out climbing, and Beylan had plans to get out and do some climbing at Vantage. I, of course, don't like vantage so quickly suggested Index, Squamish, and Leavenworth. The group quickly grew to about six people planning to climb in Leavenworth. The plan, as the group got larger, fell a part. We were suppose to meet with a couple of other guys from the group (Jason and Brian), but given I have to come from the other side of the Puget Sound, it meant that getting to the P&R at 7 AM was not likely to happen for me. I hope to meet them soon though.

Instead, Beylan, and her friend Julie were going to meet me and my friend Jennifer at the Northgate Park and Ride at 8:30 AM. That hour and a half difference was kind of a big deal. Weekend ferries are a pain, and driving around is just getting too hard some times.

So our little side meet up group made the trek to Leavenworth for a day of climbing. Since we were all new to each other except for Beylan and Julie, we decided that a safe place to climb would be Clam Shell Cave. This is a nice little crag where you can setup top ropes and just get plenty of climbing in quickly. Beylan jumped quick in to her lead -- put on that game face and get your head on -- while Jennifer and I setup a top rope on what was either the easiest 5.8 in the world, or simply not 5.8. I ran up a quick 5.6 trad lead that Beylan had just finished, and encouraged Julie to follow my lead to check out how I placed gear. The lead was so easy I actually only placed a few pieces, but Julie eventually did her first gear lead -- Yeah! Julie!

Beylan and Julie spent time doing some other top ropes, while Jennifer and I went and did the 10b GRTC, and 5.9 Eagles Prey. Jennifer was hot to lead, and I followed. The 10b was interesting and we bounced that a couple times as the crux is getting to the first bolt. My long arms makes it possible to do that, but Jennifer's shorter stature proved quite the challenge. She did awesome and we had lots of laughs at the creative methods for advancing up the climb.

The 5.9, Eagles Prey, was an interesting start as well. The first bolt is an awkward reach to clip and a fall before that is going to hurt. And likely make the hike out suck. Jennifer was ready to lead hard, and so we read the beta for the climb -- it called for gear to one inch and four bolts. Wrong! The gear placement was more like gear to three inches. After a sketchy placement, and a one inch placement at the back of the crack -- my fat arms barely could reach it, I got to the top and the sun had set. It was time to head home.

It was good that the darkness didn't really set in until we reached the car. My head lamp was in the back door and the pine needles covered the protruding stones, which made walking out difficult enough in the low light. I have to remember to put that in my pack for next weekend.

So all-in-all, I made the best of celebrating a moment in time that will never be. We do what we can and we have fun. It was nice to climb with three lovely ladies -- they even let me be a know-it-all without too much harassment. Next weekend is a multi-pitch extravaganza. It will be fun to meet up with more of this crew.

Omens and Book Reviews

Do you ever have the feeling the world is screaming at you?

Lately, I have been trying to "listen to the world." It has produced some strange results. Recently, I have been dealing with some jealousy issues. I didn't know where it was coming from, but I had to listen to these feelings. I embraced my feelings and quickly came to realize my intuition is very in tune with the world. While what I discovered wasn't good news, it did free me. Or at least loosened its grip on me. I have been paying attention to these omens, even if I wanted to pretend I hadn't noticed.

I am finding the world to be very ironic these days. The thoughts I have about how relationships should be are still pretty concrete, and the world tells me to "hold on" and "There is more to come." Yet, as I look out at everything, I feel like I can almost get the punch line of a very big joke.

Have you ever read The Art of Racing in the Rain? You should. I don't do book reviews but I have to say of all the self help books I have read lately, this not being a self help book is the only one that has highlighted the path I am on. As I write this, my eyes tear because I fell in love with Enzo. I feel like I knew him once. Enzo is our hero. He's a dog. A good, smart, and thoughtful dog. He is my dog -- Hana. He is Danny's companion faithfully.

I started reading this book when I left on my two week road trip. Enzo was my companion because Hana could not join me on this trip. Enzo taught me some very important things, some I have mentioned here before -- "What you manifest is before you." The lesson that seems to be with me today -- when your tires lose control you can over react and crash, or you can go with the uncontrolled slide until something catches to gives you your place back on the road. Yes, you've lost a few places in the line up, but you're still in the race. bark, bark!

Enzo and I were on the same page in Yosemite. I had written in my journal, "I am surrounded by all these people, and yet I'm alone. This Sucks!" I followed it up with the desire to engage my world. I went out and met as many people as I could muster up the courage to approach. I put signs on the message board "Wanted: Climbing Partner!" and I even offered an open ride to anyone wanting to go north on I-5 (no takers by the way). That evening as I read Enzo's story, he tells me about his desire to go out and meet people. He cannot speak well, but he's a good listener. He noted how people don't listen. We interrupt and inject the original story with our own thoughts so that the original story is never told or simply forgotten. I'm afraid I'm a very bad listener. This is my sadness right now. What if I had been a better listener? What if I didn't try to solve everything and just listened? What if -- it gets you know where. Shut up and listen, the race goes on. bark, bark!

Dogs are very intuitive. They know when something is wrong with you. Lately, Hana snuggles so tightly with me I can hardly move. She pulls back the covers and crawls under the sheets with me. She is trying to fill the void that is present. She does a pretty damn good job of it too. I'm paying close attention to Hana. I think she's got something to teach me, if only she had a tongue that could wax eloquently what I need to know. Enzo had the same problems but our dogs do their best. If you want to know FAITH (belief in the absence of proof), get a dog. Hana believes I will learn what I need to learn, despite me proving her right or my efforts to prove her wrong. Enzo tries to tell us that he desires to be a man in his next life. I hope I can be a dog in my next life. I hope I can learn the meaning of unconditional love and provide it to someone who needs it. With a wagging tail, of course.

I give The Art of Racing in the Rain five stars. I plan to read it again. I'm certain there is more for me to get from this story. I think this world is screaming at us all, and if we stop interrupting it, we might learn something important about ourselves. There are omens that are trying to get our attention. And if you are seeing them, you know they have been true and honest. Too bad they cannot all be good. I apologize for the someone random nature of this post. Read the book and you'll probably connect some of the dots.

Peace, love, and friendship.

The Barefoot Rappel

Rappelling barefoot is an odd sensation. It is very different than climbing barefooted — on rappel your feet are not keeping you in touch with life. You are on your decent and returning back to the world. The high is over, the emotions have calmed and you are probably at your most vulnerable. Your feet can gently wander over the rock touching the different textures, sharp edges, smooth slopers, but really your gear is what you depend on for the descent.

Coming down from "Central Pillar of Frenzy" I slipped off my shoes. I have nago's which turn my feet red. At the top of the climb, as I began my descent, I noticed the color rubbed off my feet and onto the rock. My feet soaked in the temperature of the rock. The morning sun had warmed it but the shade allowed it to cool. I slid my feet over the rock avoiding anything that might cut or hurt. The color rubbed off mostly at the top anchors as I began my rappel. It blended with the rock, but looked somewhat like a tragic accident.

At the second station there was no ledge. A full on hanging rappel. I went first off this station. My feet, without the sticky rubber or ledge to find a perch slipped over the smooth rock. It was difficult to get myself up high enough to ensure my rappel was setup correctly. It was a visual review. Biner through the belay loop. Both ropes correctly through the ATC. Everything locked down. For a backup, I put a quick sling with a locker onto the anchor by the rappel ring. I unhooked everything and made the 140 foot rappel. I had to stop over the edge to remove one line from a tree. The line went to the ground and I followed it down.

My feet landed in stone debris that immediately cut at my feet. I held the ropes as Kevin came down even though he didn't need my support. I wrapped my feet in socks and shoes and began the clean up of gear for our descent back to the car before I headed on my long drive home.

Yosemite is an amazing place. I entered from the East entrance Monday morning. The sky in the meadow was so blue. The air was clean, clear and domes of rock screamed to be climbed. I pulled into a lot and stepped out into the cool morning. I wasn't prepared for the temperature. The signs warning of bears concerned me more though. When I entered there was no ranger to give me the run down, so I walked over to the only other person in the lot. An older man, who looked like he spent most of his days in the park, gave me the list -- no scented items that might attract the bears, no sun screen, shampoo, toothpaste, wet wipes -- of what to remove and put in the bear box. He also gave me the location of the board for finding a partner for the day.

Finding a partner seemed to be elusive, and I decided to head down to the Valley and get a camp site. Camp 4 is an interesting place. You stand in line with your identification, lots of foreigners, and a Ranger who speaks loudly at people who barely understand him. Each person gets the run down -- everything with a scent goes in the bear box. I started to go through my car and found old bbq sauce, some shampoo, more sun screen. It is amazing what you can find in your glove compartment. I didn't mean to bring this all with me either. Oh, and don't forget to take your garbage bag with you.

I picked a site down by the YoSaR (Yosemite Search and Rescue) tents. I knew Kevin and his buddy Gabe were working on the Regular route of Half Dome and would be back at the site in the next day or two. I introduced myself to my camp mates Dom and Bill who where from England, and had finished a trip up El Cap. I wandered down the path to the village and checked things out. On the way back I bouldered and traversed about the rock.

There is an immaturity about this life. Yet at the same time there is a great deal to learn from the world that isn't capitalism, and politics, that isn't selfishness. It leaves you open to the experiences of life, vulnerable (I guess I'll use that word again.) This was my first trip by myself. For being all alone, I was surrounded by people. I made a choice to engage my world and meet the people around me. Heading back into camp I made friends with Libby, a 23 year old red head, who was at the cross roads -- to start a career or to be a dirt bagger. We talked about her adventures to prepare for Big Wall climbing and the decision of starting her career right out of college or to take time to live life. Enni and Pauli showed up a bit later in the evening. The young kids from Finland who were going to aid up Salathe sat and ate dinner with Dom, Bill and myself. My world was filled with new people and stories to share. I wish I could share them all, but they are not my stories to tell.

Tuesday morning a shaggy face popped over my cook stove. Kevin was down for a rest day, and wanted to take me out for some climbing. We ran up "The Nut Cracker" a fantastic 5.8 climb that has a sketchy mantle at the last pitch. The views were amazing for sure. I hope the Japanese guys who took our picture will email me a copy. We finished early and instead of running up more climbs we socialized for a bit. Kevin would be heading back to the dome to prepare for his attempt the next day.

Wednesday I missed a climbing connection. Such is life — it sucked. so I made my way down to the El Cap meadow. There were tons of people staring up at the climbers on the wall. I was quickly identified as one of those crazy types of people and queried about how it all works.

I met some nice young kids -- Tyler, Mike, Joelle, and John. They shared a beer with me and spaced with me. They identified most of the features on the wall, and we enjoyed watching the cluster f*ck on Sycle ledge. Later that afternoon, I wandered back to camp, and they went swimming in the river. I ran into Even, Stephen, Colleen, and Jeff at the slabs and they gave me a top rope on a fun little nameless 5.7 flake. Funny thing, Even and Tyler go to school together. I was meeting friends of friends.

Kevin and Gabe in a surprising success (to them, not me) did the Regular route clean and in short order. Kev looked tired the next morning so I had him teach me aiding and top rope soloing. I did Church Book Tree. A 10b/C1 climb. It was fantastic. I aided, top soloed, and then jugged. The afternoon was done and we were both in need of food.

Thursday evening I met Mash and Molly who moved to the Caribbean and were doing some climbing in the valley. Mash was home, and very enjoyable to meet. I should have gotten his e-mail. Such is life.

Friday, it was time to clear out of camp. I cleaned up and said good by to Tom and Danny, Anni and Pauli, and the rest of the crew. Kev and I met up and ran up the Frenzy. This climb was amazing, and the view of El Cap only improved as you moved up the pitches. On the last two pitches I got my game face on, and I got my very first gear bootie. I plucked a nut placement that came out like it was forgotten not stuck. I think I'm close to figuring out how to climb. Kevin was a great guide and I look forward to climbing with him again -- Maybe this winter after the holidays.

I feel like something profound should be said here. Something that would let you know that everything in the world is going to be alright, or maybe just to let you know I am going to be alright. All I can say is -- "What you manifest is before you" from The Art of Racing in the Rain.

Peace, Love.

I am not Afraid

That's Right! I said it. I'm not afraid. I can stop and ask for directions! Leaving City of Rocks, I headed out on route 77. The map says that it will go straight through to I-85. Hmmm, for some reason the road ahead said "Dead End" and I don't want to take route X north. I want to go east. Yep, I have to stop at the gas station and find out if I go left or right. I'm told I go left, and hang a right at the sign that points to I-85. Glad I didn't go with my instinct -- I'd have gone right for a very boring drive

The climbing was amazing at City of Rocks. I left the office Friday at five o'clock, and stopped in Tacoma for dinner and some shopping and then put the miles on. I slept at a rest stop somewhere just after Pendleton Oregon, and then finished the drive Saturday Morning. The drive into the Reserve was beautiful.

When I arrived at the campground Jim had just arrived. I introduced myself to him and we made lunch and began to chat. We spent a little time looking at his guide book and then made our way over to "Practice Rock" where I lead a 5.6 and Jim followed me up. We met some nice people who allowed us to top rope their climbs (Thanks Guys who's names I have already forgotten).

Jim and I returned to camp and made dinner and waited for George and Karen to arrive. After more socializing I went to bed and slept through the night. We all woke about the same time and proceeded to make breakfast. Now, some of you may know that I'm not the best packer. I apparently left my oatmeal at home. Standard form for me. I did have a banana and some breakfast bars, but the meal was pretty weak. I had an apple sauce to make it last.

The decision to climb Jackson's Thumb was made and the day looked beautiful. In the picture the Thumb is the short rock spire to the left, in the shadow of the larger "fist."

George and Karen were one pair and Jim and myself the other. Four pitches of over bolted rock was before us, and we were ready to go. Jim and I were going to swap leads, and I started with the first. Jim did the second, with me finishing off the last two leads. As Jim approached me at the third belay he asked "are you pissing?" I responded with a no. "It must be raining then." Yep, the thunder clouds to the north were starting their rumblings and we had one more pitch to go. Jim decided I would move faster, so I took the lead and cruised to the top. We made a quick rappel and scrambled down to our lunch and packs. The storm seemed to be just passing us and I was thinking we might get another climb in. Boom! The rain started to fall pretty hard. The crew behind Jim and I decided to descend the climb unfinished, and the crew on the next climb over asked how far it was from the top. Flash Boom! Okay, everybody off the rock!

I often joke, if you see me running you have to wonder what is chasing me. I moved down that mountain at a jog. The wind had picked up and what felt like hail was rain pelts sped up by the wind. We got to the car soaked and drove back to camp. I threw my stuff in my car and began to strip out of my cold wet clothing, put dry clothing on, and crawl into the bag and warm up. Seemed like a good time to read a book.

The storm passed and George wanted to do more climbing. Me too, Jim three. We made our way over to Rain Dancer, which was a two pitch climb -5.7, 5.5. George did the lead, Jim followed, and I enjoyed the leisure of the climb. We got to the top and I setup the rappel. Last up, last down. Dang the wind was cold and I was shivering. My bag was starting to sound very good again.

Karen met us at the end of the trail -- she'd started a fire and had some veggies to share with us all. It was another pleasant evening, and I was worn so I left for bed. I was out. Apparently, the wind had kept the other three awake. I was OUT. The morning was cold, shady and didn't bode well for climbing. I sat in my bag reading. After lunch I did some wandering and photography.

We went out to Box Top rock but the climbs seemed inactive, and the rock crumbly, and it was decided to wander over to Stripe Rock. Here George tried to convince me that the 10b was a 5.7. It just didn't feel right. I got us on the right climb but by the time George and Jim got to the first belay, it was time to head back to camp. Oh well. I got some bouldering earlier...I'd have to wait for tomorrow.

Elephant Rock has about ten perfect lines on it. Give or take. George wanted to do one of the 5.8's but they were already covered with climbers. "There's a four star 5.7 -- that's a classic in this guide." Yep, that's the line, and no one is on it. George and Karen will do the first lead, Jim and I will do the second lead. We only had enough gear so I had an easy lead and no gear placements. The lead was fantastic. George and I lowered Karen and Jim off the rock and then did the two rope rappel. I wrapped up the gear -- it was time to get to Denver.

City of Rocks -- I'll be back to climb your beautiful granite.

Rained Out

I decided I needed a weekend of rock climbing and so made plans to head up to Squamish. I had some friends that were up there all week and it was a wet week. I had my fingers crossed that I'd get clear weather. The initial reports were looking good, but the word was that Sunday was 100% chance of rain. Against the odds I made my way to the rock with a new climbing partner, George. We arrived Friday afternoon and proceeded to do a few runs up Burger and Fries. It was short lived as I was hungry and wanting to find a place to camp.

We had a nice evening with the crew, and by 11:30 we decided to go to sleep. We woke to a grey sky and no rain. Good news for us, so George and I headed to the Apron. As I was gearing up my cell rang. I thought -- this is the call. My sister was having a baby! It was my mom telling me that the kid already came -- No name had been decided yet. George and I proceeded to hunt down our climb. It was a bit of a trek but we got to our climb and no one was on it. Whew.

We did Banana Peel, a eight pitch 5.7 climb, with some great places you could actually run up the rock. We followed that up with Memorial Crack (5.9) and a rappel into the pond. Our beer was earned and we headed back to camp after dinner.

I was feeling pretty tired after all the climbing and so lay down to rest a bit. I'm not sure how long I was out, but George came over, and apologized for waking me -- "Oh, no, I wasn't asleep," I responded as I wiped the drool from my cheek.

Sunday just couldn't hold out for us. It was full down pour. George and I packed up and hurried to wait in a two hour boarder line. That sucked, but the rest of the ride home was fantastic. Now that the new niece is here, I have plans to head out again. Road Trip 2008. I'm going it solo....wish me luck.

Oblivious

One of the things I love about myself is that I can be completely oblivious. This can certainly be to my detriment but at the same time I can stop what I'm doing strike up a conversation with Micah Dash and not even realize I'm talking to one of the great climbers of modern times. I talked with Micah and his climbing buddy, who's name escapes me, about what great climbs we'd just been doing.

Turns out that my Squamish weekend was during the Mountain Festival and many of the greats were around this weekend. I had come up take pictures of just random climbers. It was good that I found my friends though as I forgot to charge my camera battery. Although, I suppose it would have been cool to take pictures of some of these great climbers. Instead I got sleepy morning people.

I didn't get my usual round of pictures. I was enjoying the time with my friends, and the climbing. I started my weekend off climbing pretty ambitious and lead a 5.9 on trad. I got a bit freaked at the crux, and let Jason finish it for me, but I lowered off my gear and did it on top rope. More projects to add to the list.

I have a place to stay when I visit Mexico though now. Rhi's friend and two daughters were up visiting and I got to join in on the climbing fun with them. Lalo is from Oaxaca and has graciously invited me to be a guest. I think given my desire to live out some of my dreams lately that I am going to find a way down there and make that happen.

Mexico. Yep, I better study up my español.

Finding Balance

I'm sitting in my office cube. It is Saturday and I am making up hours of work that I have missed over the last couple of weeks. As I try to get work accomplished for clients, put in my 40 hour work week, and get outside with friends I am finding that 24 hours is not enough. At least not if I want to sleep.

I'm sitting in my office working and listening to The Dirtbag Diaries. All this podcast does is make me want to run. Quit my job, find homes for the cats and dog, sell the car, and hop on my bike. Peddle my way to where ever it is I'm hoping to be...

When I was in high school and looking to go off to college, I couldn't get into any local colleges. I didn't have good SAT scores, and my grades were average, and my mom made too much money for me to be on Financial Aid. Being a student was never something I did well, so I was in no hurry to go back to school. I took about nine months off. I worked a full time job at an arcade store in the local mall, and I dreamed about hoping on my bike and heading east. Screw going west, I wanted something different.

I got on my bike and started to ride. Ten miles out I got scared. I didn't have any food, I didn't have much water, and my bike bags didn't even include a sleeping bag or a tent. I ended up at REI in Redmond. I went East just not very far. I guess technically I went North East. I shopped around REI and started my list. I needed a light weight tent, a good small bag, spare tires and tubes, a pump, bigger bags, a head lamp, bike lamp...hey how much is that helmet?

Yeah, back then we didn't wear a helmet when we rode, but I figured if I'm going to be on highways I better have something. My grandfather bought my first helmet, my Dad got me a seat bag. I dreamed about the bike bags. I dreamed about putting up a tent on the side roads and making myself a place to sleep. Oh, I need food? Hmmm, yeah, I'm going to need front and rear bike bags. Maybe a handle bar bag. I dreamed of where I would end up during the winter.

I figured I would take a job at a diner, or anywhere that would take me. I imagined that I would become part of this town in Somewhere America, and then one day early in the morning, it would still be cold, I would ride my bike out of town down the middle of the main street. I would have touched this town and broke its heart. The town would talk about that nice boy who rode his bike in looking all ragged and in need of a good scrubbing. They would talk about how it was strange how I wanted to talk to everyone and find out their story, but I cleaned up nicely.

My goal was to ride across the country. I wanted to see New England, Prince Edward Island. I intended to ride my bike south along the Atlantic coast. Spring break in Florida -- isn't that the dream? I would then work my way back west. Eventually, I would come home. I'd have a little bit of money left in my bank account because my savings would have remained untouched. I would know how to make an amazing drink, or cook a wonderful meal, maybe I would have a story to tell or two.

That was the dream. The reality was Clinton came into office and all the sudden I had the opportunity to go to college. I got my Associates, and followed that with my Bachelors. I found other interests to occupy my attention. The dream never died though. I have always dreamed of packing up the car, the dog, the wife, and just driving until I needed to sleep. I've done this a couple times. Coming back to work is never the same though. Each time I do get those glimpses of the dream I find it harder to live in the grind.

So where is the balance? I wonder now if there is a way to live life the way I dream it and in the world of salaried employment. Even my friends who seem to live life so vicariously seem bound by the system. They worry about where their head will lay each night, will they be able to afford rent, can they afford gas, food, and everything we all worry about day to day. Sure they could camp in the mountains, or beaches but it is a hard life. It feels good for a couple weeks, but eventually you want a shower, you need a shower. Clean clothes would be nice too. A warm meal that wasn't cooked on a camp stove. And even if you do stay out more than two weeks there are people in this world that actually count on you.

I think the time is fast approaching where I'm going to make my decision. My desire to see this world and enjoy it daily is bubbling over. I want to stop when I see something beautiful and just take it in. Etch it in my mind. I'm tired of having to be some place for someone else. I want to be any place, but that place needs to be of my choosing. At least for a little while.

First, I need to find that courage.

Thoughts and Prayers

My young high school intern, Jacob Patterson, was hurt this weekend while mountain climbing. He fell and is in serious condition at the Harbor View ICU.

My thoughts and prayers go out to him and his family.

Kayaking in Liberty Bay

It seems to be a weekend of Independence themes. It has been a fantastic weekend. Not all good, but nothing bad. Some emotional stuff -- letting go of "things." All in all, a marvelous weekend. Even Hana has had a good time.

Today, my new friend Ahmis and myself rented kayaks in the Poulsbo Marina, and spent an hour paddling around Liberty Bay. The start of our kayaking there was a big Blue Heron on a log boom. As we paddled past we noticed a baby seal and not far away was mamma, and she popped up just as we were cruising by gawking at the baby. A perfect start to our adventure. Ahmis and I paddled down past the marina and did a bit of chit-chat. Circled around and on the way back got to watch a sea plane land. It was coming right towards us but was plenty far away that we just got to watch and experience the moment.

On the way back to returning the kayaks, baby and mama seal visited us again. And we had a great end to a perfect start.

Now, I'm on craigslist looking for a new kayak. Or rather a new-to-me used kayak. I think I'm hooked. This is what I've always wanted. To spend my time, kayaking, camping, climbing, and generally outside. I guess sometimes we give up some of those dreams for something different. I don't think you have to give up anything, you just have to know what your priorities are and take the time to make them happen.

Enjoy life.

Ka Boom!

I spent the evening with some good friends, and was introduced to some really wonderful people. Lisa & Marty, and Jennifer and Tony (I think I got that right) were fantastic dinner companions and their children were fantastic. Mark and I took the kayak out on the water for a bit, and then had a little photo contest. Here are my pictures. Enjoy!






Hope you had a happy and safe 4th of July!

Live Free or Die!

I love that saying. Happy Independence Day! Today, is a very emotional day for me. I have a friend coming over to help me liberate myself from years of comic books, magazines, books, and other trinkets. I wrote to another friend, Erin, that "Independence Day for me has been -- liberating. I am someone who holds tremendous sentimental value to things that don't matter. I'm purging them. I'm not forgetting them, but removing them." I continued with, "Part of me is tremendously scared. Seriously -- Scared. I don't really know or understand why but I'm imaging shedding my old self. I know there is someone great inside me and it is not defined by comic books, magazines, or trinkets...."

This got me to thinking -- I need to blog this! What an amazing day! I'm liberating myself from a box that I put myself in. Why was I so afraid to step out and see that there are other boxes, and bigger boxes to step into (and hopefully out of.) For years a dear friend of mine would tell me how she would love to just live out of her car. She'd be so happy to only have the stuff that fit in the back of her wagon. I would tell her that the cat box would be really stinky in the car. But Why! I didn't listen to that sooner I can only guess. I suppose that is something one learns from living on their own though. I have never in my life lived alone. I have always had a roommate, or family. Even now, I have the company of two cats and my dog. Today, I'm asking myself "Are You Living it?" and I am hoping if not, that I will be soon.

My dearest aunt has lived life very simply, and I'm striving to let go of the things in my life that no longer matter and cling on to what she can teach me. The things that truly matter to me -- I hope to find them again once I've cleared out all this junk.

Happy 4th of July!

Que Sera, Sera

I'm really bummed.

My opportunities for long weekends of climbing have been totally thwarted. My Squamish trip didn't happen and circumstances for the Toulumne trip left me at work with lots of clients to look after.

Anyone out there want to go climbing?

Chrispy Fried Climber

I decided to take Friday off and work Saturday instead. I joined a couple of friends for an easy day at North Bend Exit 38. We ran into Tom, my Tuesday climbing partner at the gym, and we all lead a number of climbs.

The morning started with me parking my car at the P&R and grabbing a bus for a $1.25 to the Ferry. At which point, I walked on to the ferry and got relax and socialize with the daily commuters. Riding the ferry during commute time is always a wonderful experience. People watch can be entertaining, but I met a nice gentalman that was having a vicarious moment through me. How cool is that -- I usually think I'm living vicariously through my friends.

I walked off the boat and met my friends Bryan, my soon to be roommate, and Katie. I also made a new friend -- Bort. Bort is Bryan's dog and she, yes -- she, is a wonderfully sweet dog that will make Hana thrilled to have a friend.

So we headed off to the rock with Katie driving. Now, if you have ever had me as a passanger in your car, you know I'm a bad back seat driver. Thank god Bort was there so ever time I check for cars during a lane change I could use her as my excuse -- "Good girl, you're so sweet, yes you are..." Katie was a bit distracted as a driver -- but she wasn't a bad driver. We safely arrived at our destination after Katie saying, "Oh, that's our exit." Cutting across a lane of traffic and to the off ramp. Good times.

The hike into 38 is not bad at all. In fact, I think it was like 10 minutes. We spent the day at "We Did Rock" climbing the 5.9's a 10c and finally a 5.10a. With all of us leading we did pretty good. I was going to be lazy on the 3rd 5.9, and Katie laughed at me, and pulled the rope. Such a good friend. I lead the final 5.9 but not clean. There is this one section where you have to high step right above the bolt, and it just feels precarious. It isn't hard at all, just a mental work out. I wasn't prepared to lead the 10c, but I did top rope it and got it clean. I was excited, even though the only hard part was the first two bolts. It moved into a staircase after the second bolt and was just a nice easy climb.

I didn't get on the final 5.10a. We just didn't have the time for me to get on it and get back in time for Bryan. Yes, it was Bryan's fault. He had to work -- He hasn't quite figured out the rock climbing vs. responsibility quotent yet. Oh well. I will work him over in time.

After returning Bryan I went about unpacking and getting my evening together. I had a nice dinner with my aunt, and then I picked up Hana from her visit with Tango, her play buddy for the day. I got home, and while I knew I had gotten too much sun, the backs of my legs were so sore. I pulled out a couple of ice packs and aloe to cool the burn. I got a by fried -- Hey, that is rock climbing. It was worth it, and I look forward to more.

I had a good day.

Are you living your life with Passion?

I have heard the phrase "Live your life with Passion" and always thought -- "Don't be stupid, that is just a catch phrase!" In fact, I have often referred to this idea as a "catch phrase." To me, Passion is something you make -- like romance. It is a mental exercise and in the end if you enjoyed yourself and dream of the next moment, or even the last moment, often then you are living that life of passion. That being said -- We all should live life passionately, romantically, happy and fulfilling.

My friend Josh started a site with a few buddies called "Are You Living It?" I have been enjoying the site because a number of the contributors seem to understand the idea of passion. They understand that not every day is passionate, but to always have the thoughts in the back of the mind -- I cannot wait to...

The goal of the site is to help you live what you are passionate about in life. They actually sell clothing and other "Live your Passion" gear and donate 10% to help people get on to their adventure. I wonder if they'd help me bike the Greek Isles? Oooh, the possibilities!.

In the site's Who We Are section they say "In today’s world, it’s easy for people to forget about the things that make them happy." Indeed. In today's world we often forget that happiness is internal, and we choose happiness. So why not seek it often, why not dredge up those old dreams and live them out? If you are in that rut where you wake up and all you want to do stay in bed avoiding the day -- then get out of bed, shower, put on your clothes (or not), and do something that you dream about doing. Anything different. It won't kill you -- I hope it won't kill you.

As I wait for the week of climbing in Squamish to approach I can feel my passion bubbling over. I want to share it with everyone -- even though they don't get it. I am surfing You Tube for climbing videos, and reading all my favorite climbing blogs. Work be damned!

Well -- yeah, I need to get to work...damn.

Pursuing Greater Highs

As you probably know -- climbing centers me. All the chatter in my head stops. Recently, I have acquired a Tuesday night climbing partner. Tom and I are about the same age, and about the same build, and about the same climbing strength. We usually swap belays and we challenge each other to climb harder and harder.

Today, Tom and I did our first 10b lead climbs in the gym. We have both climbed the route on top rope, and it was clear we needed to lead this thing. I started the climb and fell at the fourth clip. It took three tries to work through the clip and by the time I figured it out, I was too tired to finish the fifth clip. I think I can get this clean on the next couple tries. Tom had the advantage of learning from my efforts, and also had to take but managed to work his way to the anchors.

It was a nice afternoon of climbing. We started by doing some low warm up climbs. I started by doing three lead runs on an easy 5.8, and a fourth on an easy 5.9. I then belayed for Tom, and repeated his 5.10a, 5.8 lead combo. Tom took a couple slab top ropes while I rested before I headed for the 10b. After my failed 10b attempt I finished up with a simple 5.9 and top roped a 10b, and two 5.8 slabs.

It is clear I'm now going to need elbow icing, but it was worth it and I'm so thrilled I attempted a 10b on lead. I'm very excited with my new found confidence in my climbing. I think 10c's are soon to follow.

Now -- the count down to my week in Squamish begins.

Ways to be Entertained

If you ever get bored or just need to make a change, I highly recommend finding a tool that will be your guide. I found this great game. It is called PhotoGamer. You are provided three words and your goal is to take pictures of any combination of the words. You then upload your pictures...I don't know if you win anything except maybe some praise if your picture is enjoyed. (I'll post up my pictures -- I've taken them but have yet to submit my results.)

I have to upgrade my flickr account though so I have more pictures I can post online.

Lately, I have also been living my life day by day with Astrology -- yes, as a game. I don't take it too seriously, but I do find it interesting and surprisingly apt for once in my life. A few days back my horoscope advised me to take the day "hour by hour." For no particular reason I chose to do it -- live the day, hour-by-hour. I had a fantastic day. Even the power going out wasn't a big deal. I went out for dinner, and when I got home I put on the candles and enjoyed my evening. What a wonderful game!

Today, the Chinese Astrology crossed my path. I was born in 1973. The Year of the Ox. I did a little Yahoo! on the Ox and was surprised how it read. Probably doesn't mean much to you. To me -- it is apropos. Not sure how I'm going to implement the information...maybe just acknowledge that it vaguely resembles something in my life. Maybe you can think of a good way to turn this into a more interesting game?

My Horoscope for the last several days have been interesting as I mentioned. Today's read "... Trust yourself -- even if you make a mistake, it will be one that will teach you an important lesson. It'll also help you avoid that same pitfall next time. Independent thinking is not only healthy -- it is wise!"

I find it interesting yet I don't fully subscribe to the information. Too much hocus pocus, and interpretation required. Yet, you have to admit that is good advice -- Trust yourself; Think Independently; Learn. Not all my decisions are good, but I'm not afraid to make them. I look forward to what it will bring, and where it will take me. And it can be fun when you make it positive.

There are just a few things you can do to entertain yourself when you need a pick-me-up.

Starting anew.

Welcome.

I'm glad you have decided to continue reading my blog on my climbing adventures and other events of my life. As you might have guessed, my previous life has come to an end. It is a sad thing, but it is the for the best and it is time to begin the newest chapters in my life.

So let me begin this new life with a new blog. Again, welcome friends and family.

I am preparing for the next climbing trip at the end of June. This involves counting gear and reading the guide books. I intend to spend an entire week in Squamish with friends, and I'm looking forward to doing some leads on gear. It has been a long time since I've lead on gear but my fear of leading seems to be gone with my old life. I'm taking on harder climbs without much fear. I seem to trust myself more and my confidence is allowing me to climb harder than before.

I've been improving my strength and patience while climbing. This has been a real trial as I have less time now than ever before. The summer will be filled with people coming to help prepare my home for sale. So many decisions have to be made these days. I'm thinking I will have to head out in the Fall and visit my family in Denver which when I do I plan to climb the Flatirons. Of course, I will have to buy more gear. My old life left me missing so many pieces. I think I'll need to do a bit of research on what the weather is like in the Fall for the irons.

I have many goals too for this summer. I'm hoping to also get to the City of Rocks. Maybe I will do this when I head to Denver? I will need to organize some friends for this process. I will need to make some new friends to be climbing partners with...which isn't easy. Most climbers my age have been climbing for almost five to ten years, and if they are my age, they have families they won't want to leave for a week. But the adventure begins whether I want it to or not.

Many more crunches, and hanging on the boards will be required.

So with that, you have read the first blog of many more to come.  New lives are difficult but in the immortal worlds of Grover from Sesame Street -- "Don't forget to breath -- In and Out!"