Saturday, September 20, 2008

Omens and Book Reviews

Do you ever have the feeling the world is screaming at you?

Lately, I have been trying to "listen to the world." It has produced some strange results. Recently, I have been dealing with some jealousy issues. I didn't know where it was coming from, but I had to listen to these feelings. I embraced my feelings and quickly came to realize my intuition is very in tune with the world. While what I discovered wasn't good news, it did free me. Or at least loosened its grip on me. I have been paying attention to these omens, even if I wanted to pretend I hadn't noticed.

I am finding the world to be very ironic these days. The thoughts I have about how relationships should be are still pretty concrete, and the world tells me to "hold on" and "There is more to come." Yet, as I look out at everything, I feel like I can almost get the punch line of a very big joke.

Have you ever read The Art of Racing in the Rain? You should. I don't do book reviews but I have to say of all the self help books I have read lately, this not being a self help book is the only one that has highlighted the path I am on. As I write this, my eyes tear because I fell in love with Enzo. I feel like I knew him once. Enzo is our hero. He's a dog. A good, smart, and thoughtful dog. He is my dog -- Hana. He is Danny's companion faithfully.

I started reading this book when I left on my two week road trip. Enzo was my companion because Hana could not join me on this trip. Enzo taught me some very important things, some I have mentioned here before -- "What you manifest is before you." The lesson that seems to be with me today -- when your tires lose control you can over react and crash, or you can go with the uncontrolled slide until something catches to gives you your place back on the road. Yes, you've lost a few places in the line up, but you're still in the race. bark, bark!

Enzo and I were on the same page in Yosemite. I had written in my journal, "I am surrounded by all these people, and yet I'm alone. This Sucks!" I followed it up with the desire to engage my world. I went out and met as many people as I could muster up the courage to approach. I put signs on the message board "Wanted: Climbing Partner!" and I even offered an open ride to anyone wanting to go north on I-5 (no takers by the way). That evening as I read Enzo's story, he tells me about his desire to go out and meet people. He cannot speak well, but he's a good listener. He noted how people don't listen. We interrupt and inject the original story with our own thoughts so that the original story is never told or simply forgotten. I'm afraid I'm a very bad listener. This is my sadness right now. What if I had been a better listener? What if I didn't try to solve everything and just listened? What if -- it gets you know where. Shut up and listen, the race goes on. bark, bark!

Dogs are very intuitive. They know when something is wrong with you. Lately, Hana snuggles so tightly with me I can hardly move. She pulls back the covers and crawls under the sheets with me. She is trying to fill the void that is present. She does a pretty damn good job of it too. I'm paying close attention to Hana. I think she's got something to teach me, if only she had a tongue that could wax eloquently what I need to know. Enzo had the same problems but our dogs do their best. If you want to know FAITH (belief in the absence of proof), get a dog. Hana believes I will learn what I need to learn, despite me proving her right or my efforts to prove her wrong. Enzo tries to tell us that he desires to be a man in his next life. I hope I can be a dog in my next life. I hope I can learn the meaning of unconditional love and provide it to someone who needs it. With a wagging tail, of course.

I give The Art of Racing in the Rain five stars. I plan to read it again. I'm certain there is more for me to get from this story. I think this world is screaming at us all, and if we stop interrupting it, we might learn something important about ourselves. There are omens that are trying to get our attention. And if you are seeing them, you know they have been true and honest. Too bad they cannot all be good. I apologize for the someone random nature of this post. Read the book and you'll probably connect some of the dots.

Peace, love, and friendship.

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