Monday, July 21, 2008

Oblivious

One of the things I love about myself is that I can be completely oblivious. This can certainly be to my detriment but at the same time I can stop what I'm doing strike up a conversation with Micah Dash and not even realize I'm talking to one of the great climbers of modern times. I talked with Micah and his climbing buddy, who's name escapes me, about what great climbs we'd just been doing.

Turns out that my Squamish weekend was during the Mountain Festival and many of the greats were around this weekend. I had come up take pictures of just random climbers. It was good that I found my friends though as I forgot to charge my camera battery. Although, I suppose it would have been cool to take pictures of some of these great climbers. Instead I got sleepy morning people.

I didn't get my usual round of pictures. I was enjoying the time with my friends, and the climbing. I started my weekend off climbing pretty ambitious and lead a 5.9 on trad. I got a bit freaked at the crux, and let Jason finish it for me, but I lowered off my gear and did it on top rope. More projects to add to the list.

I have a place to stay when I visit Mexico though now. Rhi's friend and two daughters were up visiting and I got to join in on the climbing fun with them. Lalo is from Oaxaca and has graciously invited me to be a guest. I think given my desire to live out some of my dreams lately that I am going to find a way down there and make that happen.

Mexico. Yep, I better study up my espaƱol.

Saturday, July 12, 2008

Finding Balance

I'm sitting in my office cube. It is Saturday and I am making up hours of work that I have missed over the last couple of weeks. As I try to get work accomplished for clients, put in my 40 hour work week, and get outside with friends I am finding that 24 hours is not enough. At least not if I want to sleep.

I'm sitting in my office working and listening to The Dirtbag Diaries. All this podcast does is make me want to run. Quit my job, find homes for the cats and dog, sell the car, and hop on my bike. Peddle my way to where ever it is I'm hoping to be...

When I was in high school and looking to go off to college, I couldn't get into any local colleges. I didn't have good SAT scores, and my grades were average, and my mom made too much money for me to be on Financial Aid. Being a student was never something I did well, so I was in no hurry to go back to school. I took about nine months off. I worked a full time job at an arcade store in the local mall, and I dreamed about hoping on my bike and heading east. Screw going west, I wanted something different.

I got on my bike and started to ride. Ten miles out I got scared. I didn't have any food, I didn't have much water, and my bike bags didn't even include a sleeping bag or a tent. I ended up at REI in Redmond. I went East just not very far. I guess technically I went North East. I shopped around REI and started my list. I needed a light weight tent, a good small bag, spare tires and tubes, a pump, bigger bags, a head lamp, bike lamp...hey how much is that helmet?

Yeah, back then we didn't wear a helmet when we rode, but I figured if I'm going to be on highways I better have something. My grandfather bought my first helmet, my Dad got me a seat bag. I dreamed about the bike bags. I dreamed about putting up a tent on the side roads and making myself a place to sleep. Oh, I need food? Hmmm, yeah, I'm going to need front and rear bike bags. Maybe a handle bar bag. I dreamed of where I would end up during the winter.

I figured I would take a job at a diner, or anywhere that would take me. I imagined that I would become part of this town in Somewhere America, and then one day early in the morning, it would still be cold, I would ride my bike out of town down the middle of the main street. I would have touched this town and broke its heart. The town would talk about that nice boy who rode his bike in looking all ragged and in need of a good scrubbing. They would talk about how it was strange how I wanted to talk to everyone and find out their story, but I cleaned up nicely.

My goal was to ride across the country. I wanted to see New England, Prince Edward Island. I intended to ride my bike south along the Atlantic coast. Spring break in Florida -- isn't that the dream? I would then work my way back west. Eventually, I would come home. I'd have a little bit of money left in my bank account because my savings would have remained untouched. I would know how to make an amazing drink, or cook a wonderful meal, maybe I would have a story to tell or two.

That was the dream. The reality was Clinton came into office and all the sudden I had the opportunity to go to college. I got my Associates, and followed that with my Bachelors. I found other interests to occupy my attention. The dream never died though. I have always dreamed of packing up the car, the dog, the wife, and just driving until I needed to sleep. I've done this a couple times. Coming back to work is never the same though. Each time I do get those glimpses of the dream I find it harder to live in the grind.

So where is the balance? I wonder now if there is a way to live life the way I dream it and in the world of salaried employment. Even my friends who seem to live life so vicariously seem bound by the system. They worry about where their head will lay each night, will they be able to afford rent, can they afford gas, food, and everything we all worry about day to day. Sure they could camp in the mountains, or beaches but it is a hard life. It feels good for a couple weeks, but eventually you want a shower, you need a shower. Clean clothes would be nice too. A warm meal that wasn't cooked on a camp stove. And even if you do stay out more than two weeks there are people in this world that actually count on you.

I think the time is fast approaching where I'm going to make my decision. My desire to see this world and enjoy it daily is bubbling over. I want to stop when I see something beautiful and just take it in. Etch it in my mind. I'm tired of having to be some place for someone else. I want to be any place, but that place needs to be of my choosing. At least for a little while.

First, I need to find that courage.

Monday, July 7, 2008

Thoughts and Prayers

My young high school intern, Jacob Patterson, was hurt this weekend while mountain climbing. He fell and is in serious condition at the Harbor View ICU.

My thoughts and prayers go out to him and his family.

Sunday, July 6, 2008

Kayaking in Liberty Bay

It seems to be a weekend of Independence themes. It has been a fantastic weekend. Not all good, but nothing bad. Some emotional stuff -- letting go of "things." All in all, a marvelous weekend. Even Hana has had a good time.

Today, my new friend Ahmis and myself rented kayaks in the Poulsbo Marina, and spent an hour paddling around Liberty Bay. The start of our kayaking there was a big Blue Heron on a log boom. As we paddled past we noticed a baby seal and not far away was mamma, and she popped up just as we were cruising by gawking at the baby. A perfect start to our adventure. Ahmis and I paddled down past the marina and did a bit of chit-chat. Circled around and on the way back got to watch a sea plane land. It was coming right towards us but was plenty far away that we just got to watch and experience the moment.

On the way back to returning the kayaks, baby and mama seal visited us again. And we had a great end to a perfect start.

Now, I'm on craigslist looking for a new kayak. Or rather a new-to-me used kayak. I think I'm hooked. This is what I've always wanted. To spend my time, kayaking, camping, climbing, and generally outside. I guess sometimes we give up some of those dreams for something different. I don't think you have to give up anything, you just have to know what your priorities are and take the time to make them happen.

Enjoy life.

Friday, July 4, 2008

Ka Boom!

I spent the evening with some good friends, and was introduced to some really wonderful people. Lisa & Marty, and Jennifer and Tony (I think I got that right) were fantastic dinner companions and their children were fantastic. Mark and I took the kayak out on the water for a bit, and then had a little photo contest. Here are my pictures. Enjoy!






Hope you had a happy and safe 4th of July!

Live Free or Die!

I love that saying. Happy Independence Day! Today, is a very emotional day for me. I have a friend coming over to help me liberate myself from years of comic books, magazines, books, and other trinkets. I wrote to another friend, Erin, that "Independence Day for me has been -- liberating. I am someone who holds tremendous sentimental value to things that don't matter. I'm purging them. I'm not forgetting them, but removing them." I continued with, "Part of me is tremendously scared. Seriously -- Scared. I don't really know or understand why but I'm imaging shedding my old self. I know there is someone great inside me and it is not defined by comic books, magazines, or trinkets...."

This got me to thinking -- I need to blog this! What an amazing day! I'm liberating myself from a box that I put myself in. Why was I so afraid to step out and see that there are other boxes, and bigger boxes to step into (and hopefully out of.) For years a dear friend of mine would tell me how she would love to just live out of her car. She'd be so happy to only have the stuff that fit in the back of her wagon. I would tell her that the cat box would be really stinky in the car. But Why! I didn't listen to that sooner I can only guess. I suppose that is something one learns from living on their own though. I have never in my life lived alone. I have always had a roommate, or family. Even now, I have the company of two cats and my dog. Today, I'm asking myself "Are You Living it?" and I am hoping if not, that I will be soon.

My dearest aunt has lived life very simply, and I'm striving to let go of the things in my life that no longer matter and cling on to what she can teach me. The things that truly matter to me -- I hope to find them again once I've cleared out all this junk.

Happy 4th of July!

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Que Sera, Sera

I'm really bummed.

My opportunities for long weekends of climbing have been totally thwarted. My Squamish trip didn't happen and circumstances for the Toulumne trip left me at work with lots of clients to look after.

Anyone out there want to go climbing?